What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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