its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
