It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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