You're so nebulous sometimes
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
