That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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