Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
