Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
