The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
