I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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