I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
