oh god the rape fog is back!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
