Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
