was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
