if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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