"it" just moved
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
