the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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