once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
