Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
