I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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