when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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