capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Please don't give away my fajitas
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
