He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
