I wish I could punch you in the face.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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