i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
