You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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