did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
