Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
