It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
