Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
