Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
