how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
