i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
