Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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