Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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