That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That's how pantless uber rides happen
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
