Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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