I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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