East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
