The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize