it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
