I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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