Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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