was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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