Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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