She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
