found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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