my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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