'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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