I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
