I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Are we still banned from the library?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
