didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
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hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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