did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
