she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
