anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
