Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Let's paint friendship bongs
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
