I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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