normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
