i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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