That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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