Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You can't special order awesome
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
