it's too hot outside to masturbate.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
