im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i will never coherently bang her
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
