god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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