If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
