i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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