So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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