she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
